Stinkport’s Finest

Where did they find a helmet that big?

On Jan 9,2017, I opened up my edition of the Stinksport Times news only to be horrified by an article I saw. It was basically a praise article about a man named Mark Ketchup.

I encountered Mr. Ketchup back in August,2016 at Wal-Mart in Allendale. I only had a bag of cough drops and was waiting in line when a drunken Mark Ketchup accosted me and accused me of cutting line. He began cursing and screaming and reached into back pocket for his gun. Needless to say, I left and immediately contacted the SPD.
Long story short.He’s a good friend of theirs and it’s completely ok for him to drive around between 1 and 3 am in a drunken stupor after he leaves his hangout at Texas Roadhouse.

Even though he is allowed to curtail the law, he is no friend of the police










This is from several years ago

Mark Ketron, 42, 124 Glendora Drive, charged with gambling and possession of untaxed liquor, also pleaded guilty to his charges.



I heard his information over the police scanner when I reported him and decided to look into his “character”….

He actually posts videos of himself driving drunk and listening to XM Radio













In the article he states about his military background and other accomplishments that make him sound like The Most Interesting Man in the World..

He was in the Marine Corps, stationed at Camp Lejuene, N.C., and also served in Japan, Korea, Panama and in the first Gulf War. 

“It gave me a good perspective in what the rest of the world is like,” he said. “You grow up fast.”

From my encounter, he doesn’t sound too much like grownup. Wait there’s more..

He last fought as a light heavyweight, where he said Evander Holyfield was his most famous opponent.

“We met in the semifinals at the Southeastern Golden Gloves tournament in Knoxville,” Ketron said. “We went three rounds and he got the decision. I won the first round, but he was a little older than me and he was stronger. He looked then like he did when he fought later. He was in great shape and he had a lot of fights. I just wasn’t in the shape I needed to be in, to be in there with him. He wound up winning that before he lost in the nationals.”

Holyfield brushed off the Golden Gloves disappointment and went on to win the gold medal at the Pan-Am Games.


There is no proof that he ever fought Evander Holyfield or about his “job” as an electrician. The fact is, he is an informant and drug dealer that lives on Riverside Ave. His Facebook page can tell much about him.






Nice car for someone who is unemployed













Drinks alone








He’s an atheist, that says much about his “character”











Can’t play guitar, but has 2 Gibson Les Paul’s. He must have taken them as payment for drugs










This is the gun I was nearly shot with








a real pillar of the community













His followers and friends are much like him. Stuck in 1983 high school, their peak days…


He is bringing the bowl cut back into style









Facebook is his outlet to convince himself that he is not a loser












That bowl cut never gets old…Hahahaha!!!













Go smoke a joint and chill Mr Ketchup













The Few, the Proud…The Ketchup













That’s all, this man’s life depresses me


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